Players

G · Buffalo Sabres

Undrafted, thirty-three, and finished the season going the wrong way.

D · Nashville Predators

Third percentile in shot attempts, and one goal in four hundred and eighty-six games.

D · Minnesota Wild

Two Cups, eight hundred games, and a defenceman whose whole job is to be unremarkable.

LW · New York Islanders

Minus twenty-three, and a hundred and eighteen career assists.

C · Colorado Avalanche

The fastest hard skater in hockey, still adding points at thirty, and the engine of everything this team does.

C · New York Islanders

Undrafted, a hundred and seventy-two games, and forty penalty minutes from the fourth line.

D · Seattle Kraken

Two hundred and seventy-eight games, plus eight, and the first percentile.

D · St. Louis Blues

Sixty-seven games, forty-eight penalty minutes, and a median shot from fifty-one feet.

D · Colorado Avalanche

The best defenceman in the world, and the argument that skating is a more valuable thing to be built out of than size.

LW · Buffalo Sabres

Fourteen points, and he takes his shots from closer than most of the men who scored forty.

D · Colorado Avalanche

An undrafted defenceman who was plus-forty-three, which is the highest number in this edition.

C · Pittsburgh Penguins

Twelve hundred and sixty-nine games, fourteen hundred and seven points, and fourteen in his last ten.

LW · Anaheim Ducks

Six foot five, seventy-one career games at thirty, and the best on-ice rate on the roster.

D · Vancouver Canucks

Six foot three, twenty-four games, and the nought-th percentile.

LW · Chicago Blackhawks

A hundred and thirty-one career goals, eight of them last season.

D · Colorado Avalanche

A heavy defensive defenceman who was plus-forty-two and took ninety-one penalty minutes doing it.

RW · New Jersey Devils

Six foot five, thirty-three goals, and plus-ten on a club that was minus-thirty-six.

LW · Florida Panthers

Five foot nine, thirty-eight years old, a thousand and thirty-four points.

RW · Columbus Blue Jackets

A hundred and two goals in two hundred and ninety-two games, from a second-round pick.

C · Nashville Predators

Five foot nine, five hundred and seventy-four points, and the ninth percentile.

LW · San Jose Sharks

Six foot five, undrafted, and plus seventeen.

D · Utah Mammoth

Plus forty-two, thirty-two assists, and four goals.

G · Florida Panthers

A .883, on a team that gave up the twelfth-fewest chances in the league.

RW · Vegas Golden Knights

Seven hundred and thirty-eight games, five hundred and seventy-six assists, and the ninety-second percentile.

LW · Carolina Hurricanes

Twelve goals, seven hundred and ninety-seven games, and the letter on his jersey is the point.

D · Columbus Blue Jackets

Five foot eleven, thirteen goals from the blue line, and a minus-twenty-one in the goals column.

D · Montréal Canadiens

A late-blooming defenceman playing the most difficult twenty-four minutes on a young team.

D · Ottawa Senators

Undrafted, no goals in ninety-five games, and the fifteenth percentile in possession.

C · Toronto Maple Leafs

Four hundred and twenty-eight goals in six hundred and eighty-nine games, and fifty-three points.

D · New York Islanders

Eighty-three penalty minutes, two goals, and a median shot from fifty-five feet.

D · Boston Bruins

Sixty-one points and twenty-four minutes a night, and the results in those minutes were merely average.

C · Utah Mammoth

Six foot four, sixty-three per cent of his shots from inside twenty feet, and nine goals.

D · Toronto Maple Leafs

Seven hundred and twenty-three games, twenty-two and a half minutes, and the seventh percentile.

LW · Seattle Kraken

Twenty goals in fifty-two games, and the best chance share on the club.

C · Minnesota Wild

Six-foot-six, ninety-three penalty minutes, and the most difficult minus-sixteen on the roster to interpret.

C · Edmonton Oilers

The fastest player in the league is also its most patient one; the danger is not the speed itself but what he does at the end of it.

D · Tampa Bay Lightning

A thousand and fifty-eight games, and six penalty minutes in forty-eight of them.

C · Buffalo Sabres

Fifty-four points, plus twenty-five, and a five-on-five record that tells a different story.

C · Seattle Kraken

Undrafted, twenty-nine goals, and the sixteenth percentile behind them.

LW · St. Louis Blues

Forty-six points, and fifty-two per cent of his shots from inside twenty feet.

D · Vegas Golden Knights

Eight hundred and eighty-five games, thirty-eight goals, and the eighty-third percentile.

C · St. Louis Blues

The third pick in 2021, forty-one points, and the eighty-fifth percentile.

RW · New Jersey Devils

Two hundred and sixty-nine shots, twenty-four goals, and the ninetieth percentile.

C · New Jersey Devils

Twenty goals, and forty-nine per cent of his shots from inside twenty feet.

G · Ottawa Senators

A .860 in twenty games, behind the league's best defence.

G · Columbus Blue Jackets

Two hundred and seventy-four games, and a .883 that has taken the job away from him.

D · Buffalo Sabres

Five foot nine, undrafted, and an NHL debut at twenty-six.

C · Seattle Kraken

Undrafted, five foot eleven, and the sixty-sixth percentile.

RW · Philadelphia Flyers

Five foot ten, a hundred and seventy-two pounds, and seventy-one penalty minutes.

D · Calgary Flames

Two hundred and tenth overall, three hundred and eighty-one games, and a shot share in the twentieth percentile.

RW · Tampa Bay Lightning

Undrafted, eighteen goals, and the third percentile.

D · Florida Panthers

Six foot six, chances dead level, and the goals went thirty-three to fifty-eight against.

C · New York Rangers

Fifty-three points, and the worst plus-minus in this book.

D · Carolina Hurricanes

Sixty-two per cent of the shot attempts — the highest figure of any player in this book.

C · Boston Bruins

Plus twenty-one at twenty-one, and the best on-ice rate of any forward on the roster.

D · Anaheim Ducks

A tenth overall pick at 22 with 204 games behind him, and the numbers have not started agreeing yet.

C · San Jose Sharks

Nineteen years old, and sixty-two per cent of his shots from inside twenty feet.

C · Boston Bruins

The eighth overall pick is now a useful third-line centre, which is not nothing and is not what was promised.

C · Columbus Blue Jackets

Eight hundred and ninety-six games, and fifty-seven per cent of his shots from inside twenty feet.

G · Montréal Canadiens

The incumbent starter who lost the job, in the worst season of his career.