Players

G · Chicago Blackhawks

Nineteen wins in fifty-five starts behind the worst team in the league, at .902.

G · Carolina Hurricanes

Nine games, and the best save percentage of the three men who played in this net.

LW · Winnipeg Jets

A sixth-round winger who has turned himself into a dependable fourth-liner at twenty-eight.

RW · Pittsburgh Penguins

The ninety-ninth percentile in four hundred and sixty minutes, and seven points.

RW · Detroit Red Wings

Fifty-five penalty minutes, six goals, and a Stanley Cup ring.

RW · Philadelphia Flyers

Sixty-eight points, five foot ten, and the eighteenth percentile in possession.

D · Pittsburgh Penguins

The eighty-fourth percentile from a third pair, and three goals.

G · New York Rangers

A .8942, seventeen thousandths behind the man in front of him.

C · Carolina Hurricanes

The third overall pick in 2018, and the only Hurricane whose numbers were below average.

D · New Jersey Devils

Six foot five, a median shot from fifty-eight feet, and no goals at all.

C · Buffalo Sabres

Fourth percentile in shot attempts, which is nearly the bottom of the league.

C · Buffalo Sabres

A first-round pick who has become a hard, useful, entirely ordinary bottom-six centre.

LW · Anaheim Ducks

Thirty-five, and still the only man on this roster who does his scoring from the blue paint.

RW · Tampa Bay Lightning

A hundred and thirty points at thirty-three, and eleven hundred and twenty-four in his career.

G · Los Angeles Kings

A Stanley Cup starter having a mediocre season on a team that gave up too much of the wrong kind of chance.

D · Colorado Avalanche

A dependable third-pairing defenceman on his fourth organisation, playing eighty-three games without incident.

C · Boston Bruins

Six goals, and on the ice for fifty-eight while the puck kept going in at the other end.

LW · Pittsburgh Penguins

Eighty-five goals in two hundred and seventy-one games, and eight power-play goals last season.

D · Calgary Flames

Twenty minutes a night in his first full season, and a blue line with nobody better to give them to.

RW · Washington Capitals

The ninety-eighth percentile, and a median shot from thirty-three feet.

LW · Colorado Avalanche

A first-round agitator with twenty-five games last season and a role still to be earned.

C · New York Rangers

Twenty-four points as a rookie, and the ninth percentile behind them.

D · Anaheim Ducks

Forty-eight assists and more ice time than anyone on the roster, and still not the name anyone leads with.

RW · Los Angeles Kings

A third-round pick who has turned into a genuine top-six winger by doing the unglamorous parts properly.

C · Florida Panthers

The first percentile in expected goals, in two hundred and forty-nine minutes.

LW · New York Rangers

The first overall pick in 2020, and the second-best on-ice rate on the club.

C · Winnipeg Jets

A first-round pick with dazzling feet, twenty-five NHL games and a great deal still to prove.

LW · Colorado Avalanche

A captain who missed three full seasons to a knee, came back, and was plus-twenty-nine.

G · Vancouver Canucks

Forty-seven appearances, eleven wins, and a .8755.

C · Pittsburgh Penguins

The ninety-first percentile in Washington, and nine minutes a night.

LW · Chicago Blackhawks

Ten goals in forty-one games at twenty, and a hundred and sixty-five pounds to carry into next season.

C · Detroit Red Wings

Thirty-four goals, the captaincy, and eight hundred and eight games in one uniform.

D · Seattle Kraken

A thousand and twelve games, and four per cent of his shots from inside twenty feet.

C · Los Angeles Kings

A checking centre with a first-round pedigree who long ago made peace with what he is.

D · Vegas Golden Knights

Three hundred and eighty-four games, fifteen goals, and eighty-nine penalty minutes.

LW · Utah Mammoth

Nine hundred and twenty-three games, and sixty-eight per cent of his shots from inside twenty feet.

LW · Colorado Avalanche

A Finnish winger who scores more than he is given credit for and defends like his job depends on it.

RW · Washington Capitals

Twenty goals at twenty-one, and the twenty-first percentile.

D · Pittsburgh Penguins

Twelve hundred and thirty-five games, twenty seasons, and sixty-six goals for against thirty-eight.

C · Toronto Maple Leafs

Undrafted, a hundred and fifty-five games across seven seasons, and five points.

G · Edmonton Oilers

A small, brilliant, deeply unconventional goaltender whose college numbers have never once translated.

D · Chicago Blackhawks

The second pick in 2024, minus forty-one, and twenty-four points to show for it.

D · Washington Capitals

Three hundred and eleven games, the second percentile in shot attempts, and one goal.

D · Tampa Bay Lightning

Fifty games, sixty-one penalty minutes, and the seventieth percentile.

G · Vegas Golden Knights

The two hundred and twenty-second pick, eight appearances, and a .873.

D · Dallas Stars

Plus thirty, seven hundred and sixty-six games, and the quietest important player in this book.

G · Washington Capitals

A hundred and seventy games, a career .9019, and a .8787.

D · Seattle Kraken

Sixty penalty minutes, two goals, and the eleventh percentile.

C · Boston Bruins

A six hundred and fifty point career, and the worst underlying season of any regular forward here.

D · Boston Bruins

The only Boston defenceman whose minutes actually went well.

C · Pittsburgh Penguins

Five foot nine, undrafted, and four hundred and thirty-four games.

D · Boston Bruins

Six foot five with a puck-mover's instincts and the second-worst results on the blue line.

LW · Columbus Blue Jackets

Five foot nine, fifty-nine penalty minutes, and nine points.

C · Toronto Maple Leafs

Three hundred and eighty-one games, and forty-six goals for against thirty-nine.

C · Winnipeg Jets

The captain, a six-foot-five checking centre who takes the hardest shifts and scores almost nothing.

C · Florida Panthers

Forty-four points from the third line, and the best two-way centre nobody discusses.

C · Columbus Blue Jackets

Four hundred and five games, and the fifteenth percentile in both columns.

D · Dallas Stars

A first-round pick, five seasons, and fifty-five points to show for two hundred and thirty-five games.

C · Florida Panthers

Fifty-nine per cent of his shots from inside twenty feet, from a checking-line centre.

G · Buffalo Sabres

Finished the season stopping .922, which is the number this club has been waiting six years for.