The 2023-24 edition

C · Arizona Coyotes

Six-foot-six, the 82nd percentile in top speed, and a plus-13 on two bad teams.

C · Boston Bruins

Two penalty minutes in seventy games, and a 14.9 per cent shooting season that will not repeat.

C · Arizona Coyotes

A minus-32, the first percentile in shot velocity, and fifteen goals from fifteen feet.

D · Arizona Coyotes

Six-foot-five, 221 career penalty minutes, and the sixth percentile in five-on-five share.

C · Boston Bruins

Undrafted, 138 NHL games across seven seasons, and a job that exists because somebody has to kill penalties.

D · Boston Bruins

Six-foot-five, a plus-44, sixteen points, and a concussion history that shapes the whole file.

C · Anaheim Ducks

Thirty per cent of the expected goals at five-on-five, which is the worst figure in the league.

C · Boston Bruins

Fifty-eight per cent of his shots from inside twenty feet, and a promotion he did not ask for.

LW · Arizona Coyotes

Twenty-four goals at 6-4, from a man drafted eleventh overall to hit people.

LW · Boston Bruins

Twenty-seven goals on the fifth-percentile shot, and the best five-on-five share of any forward in the league.

G · Anaheim Ducks

Nineteen games at twenty-two behind a club that conceded 338 goals, and a .901 that is better than it looks.

D · Arizona Coyotes

The second-hardest shot measured in the league, four goals, and thirteen goals of scoring that never arrived.

D · Arizona Coyotes

The 94th percentile in top speed and the 13th in sprints — fast, and almost never in a hurry.

D · Boston Bruins

Two shorthanded goals from a defenceman who took thirty-eight shots all season.

D · Anaheim Ducks

Thirteen seasons and 893 games in one uniform, 24:10 a night on the worst club in hockey, and a minus-23.

C · Boston Bruins

Seventeen goals and six game-winners in under twelve minutes a night.

C · Boston Bruins

The 91st percentile in shot velocity and the 4th in distance covered — a hard shot on a man who barely moves.

G · Anaheim Ducks

A .899 behind the worst defensive club in hockey, and a career .912 that says it is not him.

D · Boston Bruins

Five-foot-ten and 180 pounds, 382 NHL games, and a plus-46 on the softest usage on the blue line.

D · Anaheim Ducks

Eight hundred and forty-three career penalty minutes, the hardest shot in the league, and two goals.

RW · Arizona Coyotes

Ninth overall, six goals in thirty-three games at nineteen, and four of them on the power play.

D · Anaheim Ducks

Two hundred and four career penalty minutes, seventy-nine per cent of his shots from beyond forty feet, and a seventh-defenceman's job.

C · Arizona Coyotes

Nineteen goals on the sixth-percentile shot, all of them from inside the dots.

LW · Boston Bruins

A fourth-line winger with the 80th percentile in five-on-five share and the 7th in distance covered.

C · Anaheim Ducks

Twenty-two goals in sixty-two games at thirty-three, on a club that had nothing else in tight.

G · Arizona Coyotes

A .907 in twenty-seven games, and a career that stopped for two years while he got well.

LW · Anaheim Ducks

The 91st percentile in sprints over twenty miles an hour and the 17th in distance — everything in short bursts.

RW · Arizona Coyotes

Eighty-six points at 5-10 and 175 pounds, on a club playing its home games in a college rink.

C · Arizona Coyotes

The 94th percentile in sprints over twenty miles an hour and the 9th in shot velocity.

LW · Anaheim Ducks

Twenty-seven goals at thirty-three on an 18.9 per cent shooting year, and Anaheim bought four seasons of it.

C · Boston Bruins

Twenty-three games, four goals, and the lowest distance covered of any forward in the book.

RW · Anaheim Ducks

Six-foot-five, and the worst five-on-five share of anybody who played fifty games.

D · Boston Bruins

A plus-49 and fifty-three points at twenty-nine, in a first full season in Boston.

LW · Boston Bruins

One thousand one hundred and seventy-three games, 1,299 penalty minutes, and a 100 mph shot that produced seven goals.

C · Anaheim Ducks

Two penalty minutes in sixty-one games, the softest shot measured in the league, and the hardest starts on the club.

D · Anaheim Ducks

Undrafted out of Moscow, 279 NHL games as a shutdown defenceman, and the slowest man in the league.

LW · Arizona Coyotes

Thirty-eight assists on eleven goals, from a fourth-round pick, in a first full season.

LW · Boston Bruins

Nine hundred and forty-seven games, 973 penalty minutes, and the 18th percentile in top speed at thirty-five.

D · Boston Bruins

Fifty-two points in sixty-seven games, and the 95th percentile in attacking-zone starts.

C · Arizona Coyotes

Six-foot-four, sixty-four penalty minutes, and the sixth percentile in shot velocity.

LW · Anaheim Ducks

Traded mid-season into the worst club in hockey, and seven career shorthanded goals.

C · Anaheim Ducks

Forty-three points at twenty, and the ninth percentile in top speed.

C · Boston Bruins

Undrafted, 203 games over nine seasons, and the lowest distance covered of any skater in the league.

D · Boston Bruins

The first percentile in five-on-five share, on the worst club in the Western Conference.

D · Arizona Coyotes

Twenty-one minutes a night at twenty-three, on a second-round pick nobody else wanted.

C · Arizona Coyotes

Two hundred and eighty-eight penalty minutes in a hundred and twenty-four games, and nine years in the minors to get them.

RW · Boston Bruins

Sixty-one goals on 407 shots, the 98th percentile in top speed and the 93rd in shot velocity.

LW · Boston Bruins

Fifty-nine per cent of his shots from inside twenty feet, at thirty-four, after fourteen years of standing in the same place.

C · Arizona Coyotes

Fifty-eight points in sixty-three games, and the sixth percentile in shot velocity.

D · Boston Bruins

The third percentile in top speed and the first in sprints, on a defenceman asked to play nineteen minutes.

RW · Anaheim Ducks

Eleven years, 739 games, and the hardest defensive deployment in the league at thirty-three.

D · Arizona Coyotes

Eleventh overall in 2019, fifty NHL games in four seasons, and one goal.

D · Arizona Coyotes

Undrafted, 5-10, 440 NHL games, and the 30th percentile in top speed.

C · Anaheim Ducks

Forty-one points and a minus-30, with the second-worst five-on-five share of any forward in the league.

G · Boston Bruins

A .920 in thirty-seven games behind the best defensive club in hockey, and no job of his own.

RW · Anaheim Ducks

Thirty-seven goals, then twenty-three, and the club's only forward whose ice broke even.

G · Boston Bruins

A .938 and a 40-6-1 record, and neither number is going to happen again.

D · Anaheim Ducks

Sixty-eight NHL games without a goal, and a minus-16 in twenty-three of them.

D · Arizona Coyotes

A waiver claim who led the club's defencemen in five-on-five share and scored thirty assists.

RW · Anaheim Ducks

Twenty-two goals on 231 shots, undrafted, and the worst five-on-five share of any forward in the league.